Howdy again, friends, family, fiends, foes, and all you funky folks!

So, here we are, folks. I’m officially on Week 4 of what I call, “Damn, I’m Fat Again!” As you know, if you follow this blog, it’s the second time I’ve taken on this mostly mental and somewhat physical challenge. And both times, I look in the mirror and wonder how I got here, especially for the second time! It’s like my brain’s default setting is “normal sized and cool,” while my reflection says, “better lay off the crappy snacks, sugar and carbs, dummy.” But hey, the journey’s what matters, and I’m learning to make friends with the process and myself. Or at least, I’m trying to.

So, if you’re wondering how this adventure has been going so far, here’s the skinny (yeah, right) on each week’s ups and downs, the little victories, the big struggles, and everything in between.

Week 1: The Wake-Up Call

Week 1, folks, was the real “oh, crap” moment. My Doctor told me that I was “Morbidly Obese”. It’s that jolt of reality that hits you hard and your pants suddenly feel really tight, your T-shirts cling to your belly way too much, and your reflection feels more like a circus mirror that haunts you. So, the first week, I’m standing there in the doctor’s office, muttering to myself, “Damn, I’m fat again.” A harsh truth, but hey, I’ve never been one to dance around things for too long.

I realized then it was time for action, again. Now, don’t get me wrong — I wasn’t about to dive into some hardcore P 90 X workout routine and declare war on all things carbo. I know myself too well for that. Instead, I took the same approach I did the first time I lost weight in 2012–2013: download an app to monitor my caloric intake, drink more water, lay off the soda, no snacks whatsoever, etc. It was a fairly hard decision to make and stick to. However, being that I have a bit of O.C.D. I had to go somewhat headlong, and not just do the “small steps”. Back then I started to walk 5 miles every other day, and the weight fell off of me, I lost 66 pounds in about 9 months. So, this time, I found a new app, with the help of my oldest daughter, Rachel, (thanks, doll!) (Noom was too expensive this time around, shame on them.). This time I decided not to walk so much, as I average about 12000 steps per day at work, selling cars at a 5 acre lot. It started to work, I actually lost a few lbs, and I got my brain into “lose weight mode”. But one week down, and I was already starting to feel just a tiny smidge better.

Week 2: A Little Bit Of That Old Rhythm

Alright, moving into Week 2, and let me tell you, I felt a little more hopeful. That Week 1 super-shock had worn off, and I was thinking, “Maybe I can actually do this again.” I started by not going to McDonald’s for breakfast daily, laying off the soda, except for 2 cans per day, (I felt that I had to get my caffeine so I wouldn’t get the withdrawal headaches.)

Now, Week 2 was all about finding that rhythm that I could live with and use, figuring out what worked and what didn’t make me feel like I was a huge idiot. I didn’t go from zero to hero, but I was getting into the groove. I started to take my lunch to work, so I could manage the calories, and stay away from Burger King, Jimmy John’s, Popeye’s, and the other fast food restaurants in the area close to my work. I found out that not having to drive for lunch, and planning my food, I was more productive because I didn’t get away from work, I could still jump up and get a sale, if needed, and I was fatter in the wallet. (Lunch is outrageous these days, $12.00 or more at a fast food joint?) By the end of Week 2, I’d lost about 8 pounds! Wow! Those first few pounds felt like a big win. It wasn’t the physical weight loss as much as it was that little boost of confidence. Progress is progress, and it’s good, right?

Week 3: The Struggle Gets Awfully Real

If Weeks 1 and 2 were about adjusting and getting started into a rhythm, then Week 3 was the test of how badly I wanted it. You see, there’s this little thing called life that has a way of creeping in right when you think you’ve got a handle on things. Week 3 hit, and suddenly I was busy, stressed, and craving comfort food like it was Heroin. And let me tell you, a big, juicy cheeseburger and fries with ranch dressing called to me like an old lover. So, yep, I had a very hard time of it, but I never gave in even once! (I was very proud of myself!)

Did I feel a bit disoriented, off and outside of myself? Sure. But here’s the thing I’ve learned after both of my attempts at staying in shape: Take the small wins even if it is just saying no to a Twizzlers candy. I am the kind of guy who would eat one “bad” item and think, “Well, that’s it; I’ve ruined everything, I may as well quit altogether.” But this time, I know myself better, and I don’t let temptation get to me. Week 3 wasn’t the big loss week that I’d hoped for, just a couple of pounds, but it taught me the value of not quitting — even when the going gets tough (and those damned fries look really good, especially when slathered in ranch dressing).

Week 4: The Big Payoff (Sorta)

Which brings us to today and Week 4! Progress is being made, folks. My clothes are fitting a little looser, I’m feeling less winded after going up a flight of stairs, my knee isn’t screaming at me, (just a whimper now and then), and, dare I say it, my energy levels are starting to creep back up even if it is just a tiny bit. Now, don’t get me wrong; I’m not about to break any wild records in the Guiness book, But compared to Week 1, I’m feeling better overall. I am tired a lot, but that lends itself to less carbs and sugar. I will be better, energy wise, in a couple of weeks, when my body adjusts and gets rid of more fat, I know that from my past bout with losing weight. I am surely grumpy and out of sorts, feeling put-out and feeling like I should not have to do this again! I know that will pass when I look in the mirror and see less chins.

This week, I am taking my lunch in frozen, portion controlled, pre-cooked meals. I think the secret is eating the veggies instead of throwing them away when you are done eating. If you “doctor up” the veggies with some garlic, salt and pepper, and such, they are much more palatable. It almost feels like you’re indulging. Plus, it’s very low-cal, so you can eat a portion without that “oh, **** I screwed up and have to quit altogether now” feeling.

Lessons I’m Learning

Here’s the thing about this whole “getting fit” journey — it’s mighty humbling. Every day, I’m learning something new about having more patience, discipline, and just “showing up” for me. I used to think that change had to be drastic and painful to be effective. But here in Week 4, I’m realizing that even small, consistent steps make a difference. I sort of overhauled my life; but not like before, I know I can’t maintain the super crash diet and super amount of walking, or gym activity. I’ve tweaked it, but still give into my O.C.D. now and then to satisfy that demon. I’m still me, with all my habits, cravings, and random stupidity for ice cream (Outshine frozen fruit bars are only 80 calories, and satisfy my ice cream problem, btw). But instead of going all-in for a few weeks and burning out, I’m finally getting that it’s all about the balance and as the Eagles song says, “The Long Run”.

Sure, this journey, this very messy, imperfect journey, is teaching me to embrace the process and all of its weirdness. If I mess up, I can always get back on track. If I’m craving something indulgent, I can enjoy a bit of it now and then, but always keep moving forward to the ultimate goal of staying lighter and more fit.

So, What’s Next?

As I head into the next few weeks, I’ve got my sights set on a few new goals. First, I want to try swapping out some “fats” and “carbs” for healthier options. (I know, easier said than done!) I’ve also got my eye on a few new frozen meals to try — something to keep the food interesting, so I don’t get bored and restless for fast food. And of course, I’ll be sticking to walking more at work, ( I hate going to a gym, they usually smell like a well-worn sweat sock.) maybe even stepping things up with walks when I get home to burn calories. Progress may be slow, but I’ll get there, and I know what I can maintain and what I can’t. That, I believe will make the difference this time to keep my weight to an acceptable level, and not go back to “Fat, Again, Again”.

So that’s where I’m at, friends: Week 4 of “Damn, I’m Fat Again,” and feeling fairly good about it. It’s not always easy, but I’m learning that the little steps count just as much as the big ones. And hey, if anyone out there has any tried-and-true tips or tasty, healthy recipes, send them my way! This guy can always use a lot of help. (deanbensonrocks@gmail.com)

There you have it — my Week 4 update. Progress isn’t perfect, but it’s happening, and that’s enough for now. Here’s to all of us out there taking it one day at a time!

Dean Benson, “The Dean Of Rock & Roll” SKY7music.com middays on the “Only Classic Rock Channel”. Get our app!