Damn, I’m Fat Again! Week 5
Howdy again, friends, family, fiends, foes, and especially all you funky folk!
Welcome back to Week 5 of my series, “Damn, I’m Fat Again.” Yep, we’re five weeks deep into this nasty, wild ride of my self-awareness, accountability, and a few dumb chuckles along the way. If you’ve been following from the start, God bless you — you’re sticking around for my gripes, grinding, and those glimmers of hope that peek through like old Sol on an overcast day. If you’re new here, buckle up, because it’s going to be a wobbly, cream filled donut infused journey into my abyss.
The Week 5 Rundown: The Very Slippery Slope
Let’s cut to the chase: This week wasn’t perfect. My fridge played host to some unwelcome guests — leftover pizza, a tub of devilishly tempting ice cream, and a bowl of something that can only be described as “temptation from hell.” Yeah, yeah, yeah, I hear you. “Dean, isn’t this series supposed to be about progress?” It sure is supposed to be. But sometimes, progress looks like admitting to yourself that the battle is resisting the wailing call of peach and vanilla ice cream.
Monday was going to be the day — the fabled “Rock On” day when your motivation is at its peak. I had my day ready to go, planned, working in a few hundred extra steps at lunch, walking the “lot” more, getting to know my inventory better, and at 5 acres, I can put some good distance in while actually working and getting a solid knowledge of my used car product. A solid plan. I made it halfway through the walk before I was lured back by a customer wanting to see a used Infiniti we had, so work it was, and I never got back to walking the lot. (but I got in about 300 extra steps, so I wasn’t too bothered, and I sold the car!) If you all didn’t know, I sell used cars for my “real job” and I really like the job and the dealership I work for.
Breaking Down the Little Wins
Now, before you assume this week was all about backsliding, let me throw in some balance. There were a few dynamite little victories worth celebrating. For starters, I swapped my usual ice cream for a frozen fruit bar with no sugar added, (Outshine Pineapple) only 80 calories and it satisfied my ice cream craving. And on Tuesday, I opted for a Caesar salad at lunch — and not the kind where bacon and ranch drown out the greens. I also got the dressing on the side, so I could dip and dab it instead of drowning it.
What I’m learning is that the small wins add up and fairly quickly! Sure, my step count might not make a Fitbit want to smoke, but I usually average about 11,000 steps a day at work. There’s power in acknowledging the choice to walk around the block instead of Lazy boy surfing, or the decision to drink water (mostly infused with crystal light powder to make it more palatable.) instead of my beloved Mountain Dew soda. These might seem like “duh” moments, but when the recliner is calling your name and your energy is somewhere down to a negative 3 on a 1=10 scale, even the smallest victories can feel really great.
The Mental Game
Here’s where it gets tricky, though. The mental game can be more of a hurdle than the physical effort itself. It’s like this little voice pipes up just as I’m hitting my stride, whispering, “Wouldn’t this be more fun with a Kit Kat Bar?” And suddenly, I’m negotiating with myself — “One little sugar cookie won’t hurt,” quickly morphs into thirty-three. This, my friends, is the art of rationalizing. I have been very good at killing that voice so far, (the O.C.D. helps with that, believe it or not.)
I’ve been trying to combat this self-sabotaging voice with what I call “Dean-isms.” These are little quips I tell myself to stay on track. For instance, when I’m feeling lazy, I remind myself of what my Dad always said, “Can’t never did anything.” Shout-out to my dear old Dad for that gem. ( I miss his humor and wisdom) And when I need a push to drink more water, it’s, “Hydrate or die-drate.” Corny and dumb? Absolutely. But hey, sometimes corny and dumb works.
Surprises and Setbacks
Thursday threw me a curveball. A friend invited me out to a “happy hour” that had the sheer audacity to feature a buffet of deep-fried delights and frosty cold boozy drinks. Now, I’m not one to turn down a chance to catch up with a pal, but I also know that happy hour specials can be my waistline’s worst enemy. The good news? I practiced moderation. The bad news? I practiced it with nachos, not the whole plate that I wanted, I was pretty contained, just a handful, and I only had one 95 calorie beer.
But it wasn’t all doom and deep-fried gloom. Friday was my redemption day. I decided to take an extra walk with my wife, for a couple of miles and let me tell you, there’s nothing quite like huffing and puffing up a hill while realizing that your neighborhood’s “gentle incline” is actually a mini Krakatoa. I won’t pretend it was easy, but the downhill side? That was pure relief — a reminder that sometimes, you’ve got to push through the uphill to enjoy the coast. My right knee hated the downhill, though, and I had to wear my brace for 2 days, but it got better quicker than normal, mainly because I am 17 lbs. lighter!
Looking Ahead
So, what’s next? Week #6 is right around the corner, and I’m determined to make it really worthwhile. My plan is to up my accountability game. I’ve been thinking of sharing my progress more openly — you know, putting it all out there so the temptation to fall off the wagon feels a little more public (and a lot more embarrassing). Plus, I might experiment with a new walking area that doesn’t feel like punishment, and keeps me from boredom. If any of you have suggestions for walking in the Mesa, AZ. area please feel free to drop them in the comments.
Closing Thoughts
This week wasn’t flawless, but it was absolutely real. And if I’ve learned anything, it’s that the journey to better health isn’t about flipping a switch; it’s more like bumping the dimmer little bit by little bit. You’re going to stumble, maybe skin your knee or bloody your nose, and there will be weeks when progress feels slower than a sloth on a broken treadmill. But the key is to keep showing up — whether that means swapping the french fries for a side salad or choosing to walk an extra 2 blocks or so.
So here’s to small wins, tiny tweaks, and finding a little humor in the mess. Week #5 may have had its challenges, but you can bet your bottom dollar I’ll be back next week, sharing more tales from the front lines of my (un)fitness (or, please not the sidelines, where the snacks are).
Have a great week, listen to my show, please, and keep your mind growing, not your waistline!
Dean Benson, “The Dean Of Rock & Roll” SKY7music.com middays on the “Only Classic Rock Channel”. Also see more of my writing at: https://stan.store/DeanBensonRocks .